Freedom and Safety: Gem’s Stand-to-Pee Story

Gem is a climber and adventurer from California who uses a pStyle. They shared their thoughts with me about stand-to-pee devices, the outdoors, and their experiences as a nonbinary person.

What’s your story, and why pStyle (Gem’s preferred brand)?

I’m a climber, and also I backpack, and do outdoors things. I actually discovered pStyle through a friend of mine who is also nonbinary. They said, “Hey, you can pee standing up, it’s much easier.” And I was like, “That sounds like a really useful thing.” I’ve been backpacking and hiking before and experienced the annoyance of squatting to pee.

What was it like when you first learned to use it?

I bought one, and I tried it in the shower, and it worked. Then I took it on my backpacking and hiking trips and it was immediately amazing! One use and I was completely sold.

It really only took one practice, because I found it very easy to use.

How did having a stand-to-pee device impact your life?

It is so much better. It’s so easy. It just improved my life substantially! So now I use it everywhere. I have three of them. I keep one in the car, I take it when I’m traveling, it’s useful for road trips: just hop on the side of the road! It’s super useful for climbing trips, for hiking trips—I just find it very useful!

And in the state of our country right now, going to the bathroom is very fraught, especially for a nonbinary person like me, who is not real comfortable using the men’s room. And if I use the women’s room, depending on the situation, people will look at me, or say, “This is the women’s restroom.”

I’d much rather pee on the side of the road in peace than use a public restroom most of the time. So I think it’s a lifesaver for that reason too!

Was there ever a time when you were SUPER glad to have your pStyle?

Well, I’m a huge fan every time I use it! But when I’m snow camping, I use it to pee inside of the tent, into a bottle. It’s very useful to not have to go outside in the cold and the snow, and put on your boots, and all of that stuff.

And I think the other time is when I’m on really popular backpacking trips. I just have to pee all the time! And with the pStyle, you don’t even have to go off trail very much. Even if people are seeing your back—we see cis gender men do that all the time. I also have a little bit of privilege, because most people assume I’m a cis gender man when they see me, so I can get away with peeing in the open, standing up.

But peeing on a crowded trail—especially, say, Yosemite---when there’s really nowhere off trail to go and people are coming from both directions—I remember, before the pStyle, it was just really stressful! Because you’re like, who’s gonna come, my pants are down! And with a pStyle, you’re like, oh whatever, this is fine! I have privacy, I feel so good.

Also, for me, as a nonbinary person, I feel good using the pStyle to pee standing up. I don’t use it at home. Sitting down, standing up, either way, it doesn’t give me dysphoria, but I do think it’s very freeing to be able to pee standing up.

Have people ever been surprised, or reacted strongly, when you used your pStyle?

I would say no. I would say people who are surprised are people who have never heard of the concept before. When I give them the schpiel, they’re like, “Oh that’s really cool!”

So it’s a surprise like “I didn’t know that existed,” but never a bad surprise. I think people have said, “Oh I tried one, it was hard to use, what about leakage?” They had questions. Maybe they didn’t have a good experience. I’m really glad my first one was a pStyle, because immediately it worked.

And also--I’ve actually had some trans men friends ask me about the pStyle because their packer-style stand-to-pee devices were leaking. And I have never had that problem with a pStyle. It doesn’t leak. So that’s interesting. And as a nonbinary person, I absolutely refuse to get something called “Shewee.” That’s just not gender-affirming to me.

What would you say to people who are afraid to try it?

I would say there’s very little to lose and so much to gain if it works for you! It can really unlock a lot of freedom and safety. And make your life a whole lot easier in the outdoors. It’s not too expensive. I’d say give it a try in the shower once or twice and see how it feels. There’s very little downside but the potential for major upsides! You should definitely try it.

Based on your experiences, what hurdles do you see to getting pee funnels to be more widely accepted?

I think a large percentage of people don’t know about them! I had certainly never heard of them ten years ago. And I started using it maybe five years ago. So I would definitely say if I had heard about the concept before, then it would have been in my brain and I would have tried it! So that’s definitely one hurdle.

And I do wonder with the rise of transphobia, and trans people in the news, I wonder whether gender roles, and the idea of standing up to pee like a man, is weird to cis gender women. I could see that being a thing. The same way cis men don’t want to sit to pee because it’s “feminine.” I could imagine for some set of people that’s gonna be a hurdle. 

Bonus Question: What are your favorite colors for pStyles?

The first one that I got was just black because I wanted it to be inconspicuous. Then I chose a skin tone one, because I wanted to explore whether that would be more gender affirming for me. But I think I’m fairly indifferent to the color.

I love bright colors generally, so usually I would pick something that’s bright-colored, but in this case I don’t want to draw attention to the particular object while I’m using it. Like if someone sees you with a bright orange thing, is that gonna attract attention, or violence, are they gonna ask if I’m trans? So I do think the skin tone ones are great and I appreciate the darker skin tones. Not all companies do that.

Anything else you want to share?

I’d just say I’m really thankful to the pStyle, and it’s my favorite piece of outdoor gear! Despite doing so many outdoor sports, like snowboarding, snow camping, backpacking, climbing, my favorite and most impactful piece of outdoor gear that I have ever got for myself has been the pStyle. It just eliminates a whole category of worries. 

You know, growing up, I was kind of jealous about boys and men having it so easy in the outdoors—it was like, “Oh it’s so easy for you, I have all these other considerations!” I thought it could only be one way, and I was just trapped in this way forever. And then to find out, oh, I could have that same ease that I’ve seen other people have—that part is amazing. It’s like a level of equality.

I really like stand-to-pees, and I really like your website! Because now people will have a resource. I want everyone to experience the happy revelation that I experienced.

Thank you Gem! You can get a pStyle and learn more at their website. Also check out my interview with pStyle’s founder, Krista Eickmann. Gem referred me to a queer climbing site with great resources: Queer Crush. Do you want to share your stand-to-pee experience? Hit me up at gostandingup@gmail.com