Freedom and Safety: Gem’s Stand-to-Pee Story

Gem is a climber and adventurer from California who uses a pStyle. They shared their thoughts with me about stand-to-pee devices, the outdoors, and their experiences as a nonbinary person.

What’s your story, and why pStyle (Gem’s preferred brand)?

I’m a climber, and also I backpack, and do outdoors things. I actually discovered pStyle through a friend of mine who is also nonbinary. They said, “Hey, you can pee standing up, it’s much easier.” And I was like, “That sounds like a really useful thing.” I’ve been backpacking and hiking before and experienced the annoyance of squatting to pee.

What was it like when you first learned to use it?

I bought one, and I tried it in the shower, and it worked. Then I took it on my backpacking and hiking trips and it was immediately amazing! One use and I was completely sold.

It really only took one practice, because I found it very easy to use.

How did having a stand-to-pee device impact your life?

It is so much better. It’s so easy. It just improved my life substantially! So now I use it everywhere. I have three of them. I keep one in the car, I take it when I’m traveling, it’s useful for road trips: just hop on the side of the road! It’s super useful for climbing trips, for hiking trips—I just find it very useful!

And in the state of our country right now, going to the bathroom is very fraught, especially for a nonbinary person like me, who is not real comfortable using the men’s room. And if I use the women’s room, depending on the situation, people will look at me, or say, “This is the women’s restroom.”

I’d much rather pee on the side of the road in peace than use a public restroom most of the time. So I think it’s a lifesaver for that reason too!

Was there ever a time when you were SUPER glad to have your pStyle?

Well, I’m a huge fan every time I use it! But when I’m snow camping, I use it to pee inside of the tent, into a bottle. It’s very useful to not have to go outside in the cold and the snow, and put on your boots, and all of that stuff.

And I think the other time is when I’m on really popular backpacking trips. I just have to pee all the time! And with the pStyle, you don’t even have to go off trail very much. Even if people are seeing your back—we see cis gender men do that all the time. I also have a little bit of privilege, because most people assume I’m a cis gender man when they see me, so I can get away with peeing in the open, standing up.

But peeing on a crowded trail—especially, say, Yosemite---when there’s really nowhere off trail to go and people are coming from both directions—I remember, before the pStyle, it was just really stressful! Because you’re like, who’s gonna come, my pants are down! And with a pStyle, you’re like, oh whatever, this is fine! I have privacy, I feel so good.

Also, for me, as a nonbinary person, I feel good using the pStyle to pee standing up. I don’t use it at home. Sitting down, standing up, either way, it doesn’t give me dysphoria, but I do think it’s very freeing to be able to pee standing up.

Have people ever been surprised, or reacted strongly, when you used your pStyle?

I would say no. I would say people who are surprised are people who have never heard of the concept before. When I give them the schpiel, they’re like, “Oh that’s really cool!”

So it’s a surprise like “I didn’t know that existed,” but never a bad surprise. I think people have said, “Oh I tried one, it was hard to use, what about leakage?” They had questions. Maybe they didn’t have a good experience. I’m really glad my first one was a pStyle, because immediately it worked.

And also--I’ve actually had some trans men friends ask me about the pStyle because their packer-style stand-to-pee devices were leaking. And I have never had that problem with a pStyle. It doesn’t leak. So that’s interesting. And as a nonbinary person, I absolutely refuse to get something called “Shewee.” That’s just not gender-affirming to me.

What would you say to people who are afraid to try it?

I would say there’s very little to lose and so much to gain if it works for you! It can really unlock a lot of freedom and safety. And make your life a whole lot easier in the outdoors. It’s not too expensive. I’d say give it a try in the shower once or twice and see how it feels. There’s very little downside but the potential for major upsides! You should definitely try it.

Based on your experiences, what hurdles do you see to getting pee funnels to be more widely accepted?

I think a large percentage of people don’t know about them! I had certainly never heard of them ten years ago. And I started using it maybe five years ago. So I would definitely say if I had heard about the concept before, then it would have been in my brain and I would have tried it! So that’s definitely one hurdle.

And I do wonder with the rise of transphobia, and trans people in the news, I wonder whether gender roles, and the idea of standing up to pee like a man, is weird to cis gender women. I could see that being a thing. The same way cis men don’t want to sit to pee because it’s “feminine.” I could imagine for some set of people that’s gonna be a hurdle. 

Bonus Question: What are your favorite colors for pStyles?

The first one that I got was just black because I wanted it to be inconspicuous. Then I chose a skin tone one, because I wanted to explore whether that would be more gender affirming for me. But I think I’m fairly indifferent to the color.

I love bright colors generally, so usually I would pick something that’s bright-colored, but in this case I don’t want to draw attention to the particular object while I’m using it. Like if someone sees you with a bright orange thing, is that gonna attract attention, or violence, are they gonna ask if I’m trans? So I do think the skin tone ones are great and I appreciate the darker skin tones. Not all companies do that.

Anything else you want to share?

I’d just say I’m really thankful to the pStyle, and it’s my favorite piece of outdoor gear! Despite doing so many outdoor sports, like snowboarding, snow camping, backpacking, climbing, my favorite and most impactful piece of outdoor gear that I have ever got for myself has been the pStyle. It just eliminates a whole category of worries. 

You know, growing up, I was kind of jealous about boys and men having it so easy in the outdoors—it was like, “Oh it’s so easy for you, I have all these other considerations!” I thought it could only be one way, and I was just trapped in this way forever. And then to find out, oh, I could have that same ease that I’ve seen other people have—that part is amazing. It’s like a level of equality.

I really like stand-to-pees, and I really like your website! Because now people will have a resource. I want everyone to experience the happy revelation that I experienced.

Thank you Gem! You can get a pStyle and learn more at their website. Also check out my interview with pStyle’s founder, Krista Eickmann. Gem referred me to a queer climbing site with great resources: Queer Crush. Do you want to share your stand-to-pee experience? Hit me up at gostandingup@gmail.com

Stand-to-Pee Stories: Stefanie

Stefanie is an avid outdoorswoman who enjoys hiking, mountain biking, skiing, and stand-up paddle surfing, among other adventures! She uses the Freshette pee funnel and was kind enough to share some of her experiences with me.

What’s your story—why did you decide to use a stand-to-pee device, and what led you to Freshette?

I was out on a mountain bike ride with some friends and I was visiting Phoenix. I live in San Diego. And we just somehow got on the topic of pee funnels, and one of my friends said, “You know, I highly recommend the Freshette,” and then she told me why. She said, because it has the longer tube on it. The other ones, she says, you pee on yourself.

Fast forward a few days. I’m mountain biking, I get into an accident, I wind up fracturing my hip, get taken to the hospital… now I’m bedridden! And I’m in Phoenix. I’ve got to go home. It’s a six hour car ride. I’m thinking to myself: how am I going to pee? There’s no way that I’m going to be able to get from the car to a gas station. And I didn’t have an ADA placard to park near a gas station anyway.

So I remembered the conversation with my friend! And I’m on Amazon, going “I need to have the Freshette pee funnel sent to me by tomorrow!” And it arrived!

What was it like the first time you used it?

I got it New Year’s Eve and we were driving back the next day. And I was like “How do I use this thing?” I saw it said “Try it in the shower first.” So I did that, and it worked, even though I could barely stand.

And the Freshette was my life saver coming home, it really was, because I could pee on the side of the road! I just had to slide out of the truck—still standing—and it has this lip on it, you just kind of scrape it along, and it takes away the “drip drip.” So that was great!

Freshette’s had a couple of models, and is now on its “third generation” model. There’s also a 36-inch tube. What do you use?

Well, all that story is how I got to use this one [Stefanie holds the Freshette with retractable 5-inch tube, an earlier model]. And then I was like, this is great, I’m gonna use it when I go backpacking and hiking and camping when I have to pee, rather than squatting.

Fast forward a few years, then we get this one! [Stefanie holds the current Freshette model with 7-inch tube that folds back.] This one’s great because now the tube just rolls out. I love it! The tube is a little bit wider, so if you do have way more pee, it’s coming out really fast. Then it just folds back up. And it has a contraption here to keep the tube in place.

I like both models! I keep the original one in my car for emergencies—and trust me there have been a few! And the other once I keep in my backpacking gear, or when I go skiing.

And then there’s the long extension tube, for people who are at home—so it also caters to people who have had injuries.

How did using Freshette impact your life?

Funny, as I’ve aged, something happened with my knees. My knees started getting sore as I was mountain biking. I could barely squat! And I was like, Hmm! Love that I have the Freshette! I don’t have to worry about squatting.

Or skiing! Sometimes you’re skiing, and you really gotta go—well, that means you have to go all the way back to the lodge to go to the bathroom, whereas now I don’t have to. And when it’s cold, you don’t want to have to take off your bottoms and squat with skis on. This is way easier.

Have people ever been surprised or reacted strongly when finding out that you use a pee funnel?

When I went mountain biking, one person said, “That’s interesting, I just squat,” and I said, “Yeah, I just squat too sometimes.” But there’s some times when squatting is very difficult. Or I’m tired! And my knees hurt. And I don’t want to squat. And actually, when you squat, you’re more exposed. I can’t squat by my car. But I can use this by my car.

So yeah, I think one person was surprised, and asked, “Why don’t you just squat?” But my guy friends were all like, “This is great!” My boyfriend didn’t know about the Freshette, but when I ordered it and I told him and he went, “That’s awesome!”

I think people are more interested. They’re intrigued.  

Was there ever a time that you were very grateful to have the Freshette?

I took it to Portugal. I took it travelling because some of those bathrooms are nasty—not in Portugal specifically, just anywhere in the world, including here.

I was stand-up paddle surfing. We went to a place before the summer season. So the bathrooms were locked! Of course the guys go behind the bathroom to pee standing up, and I’m like, I got my Freshette! I’m gonna do the same thing! I told a friend there and she said, “That’s brilliant!”

What would you say to people who are afraid to try it?

Oh! I would say, “Get over it.” [Laughs.] I would be like, “Just try it in the shower. Try it in your back yard. Try it where it’s a safe environment. So if you do get pee on yourself, it’s no big deal. It’s okay! Pee’s sterile. [Laughs.] It’s no big deal. Give it a try!” Because it’s amazing how liberating it is afterwards.

And if people are grossed out by germs, think of the germs in some of these bathrooms you go to, that’s even worse! So I would just try it. Even just try it at home naked, aiming into the toilet.

I’d say Freshette’s probably the easiest one to use! It’s got a big funnel, and if you hold it right up to your vagina, then it’s sealed! The pee’s not gonna go anywhere else.

Anything else you want to share?

The Freshette is great! I use it when I go backpacking, hiking and biking, instead of squatting.

I like that it helps people with injuries. It’s not just for outdoorsy people.

I also like that it’s a woman-owned business, and I like supporting small businesses—this is the one I recommend.

You can get a Freshette pee funnel or learn more about Freshette at their site: Freshette. As Stefanie says, Freshette is a small, woman-owned business. Read about my experiences with the Freshette pee funnel on my site at What’s the Best Pee Funnel? Thanks Stefanie!

The pStyle Interview

In order to build community and share awareness, I’ve been reaching out to the owners of different STP manufacturers to hear their stories. Krista Eickmann, founder and owner of pStyle, gave me some of her time recently to discuss the pStyle, STPs, social change, stigma, and her own experiences.

Who is pStyle for?

It’s really important to me to say that pStyle is for anyone who needs it! We are aware, through having been in business for twenty years, that it’s useful not only for the people that you might instantly think of—cis women—but also for trans people, some non-binary people, some intersex people, and some cis men. So that’s the gender dimension.

And then there’s the dimension of your access to toilets. That encompasses the people you’d commonly think of, like hikers, outdoors people who are able bodied—but we like to take it out to bigger perspectives. There’s a lot of occupations where it’s useful, sometimes life-saving, [to pee standing up]; there’s the disability aspect; there’s things most people have never thought of!

For example, a customer told us that they had multiple-chemical sensitivity and going into a public restroom meant not knowing what smells they’d encounter—they said they just pee by the side of the road with their pStyle. We had someone who had a fear of drains and a fear of loud noises--they used the pStyle in public restrooms, so the auto-flush toilets were less distressing. I would never say that I heard it all when it comes to why someone finds the pStyle useful!

I review 15 devices on this site. What do you think makes pStyle stand out?

What makes pStyle stand out is ease of use while fully clothed, ease of cleaning, and easy of carrying—that’s in the category of functionality. It also has a wiping function, which many others don’t.

Then there’s the inclusiveness  and USA manufacturing. We manufacture both the pStyles and pCases in Tennessee. We’re a queer business and we market the pStyle in a gender inclusive way. We donate to organizations working with women, LGBTQ+ people, unhoused people, and immigrants. Making an impact socially is part of what we’re interested in doing.

You market pStyle as a Personal Urination Device, not a Female Urination Device. Can you talk about the distinction?

We made the phrase Personal Urination Device specifically in opposition to Female Urination Device. And that was and is the accepted term—because people are horrified if they don’t KNOW this is for [cis] women.

People believe that all cis men can stand and pee, which isn’t true. People believe that all cis women cannot stand and pee without a device, and that’s also not true. So they feel that using the word “female” explains it to people, which it doesn’t. We need to recognize that people know their own bodies. The cis men whom I’ve talked to on the phone buying pStyles KNOW they cannot stand to pee… and they do not want to buy something called a Female Urination Device.

What is a common misconception people have about your product?

That they’re gonna pee on themselves! It’s rare, but I think in people’s minds it feels very likely, which is not the reality. Other misconceptions? That it’s gonna be really gross, and “oh my God, what do I do with the pStyle after I pee, you want me to put it in a case, won’t that be gross???” And then after they use it they’re like, whatever. [Laughs] I think that’s one of the biggest misconceptions: that it’s gonna be hard to deal with.

What challenges have you faced as a company?

I’d say just being small. And having certain convictions. That’s been challenging, but it’s also been really rewarding. We wouldn’t be doing it if it wasn’t rewarding.

We’ve done so many things that aren’t profitable. Like for example our skin tone pStyles are not profitable. We don’t sell a huge amount of all the colors, but I don’t care. It was important to us to offer at least five skin tones—so if I had to justify that to shareholders? They’d be like, “WHY?” [Laughs]

What is your story, and why did you found pStyle?

I got a menstrual cup, and it changed my life! It changed my relationship to my body in such a profound way. And it was through that that I came to the stand-to-pee device concept, and I was like, “Oh my God, this is a thing that’s even LESS popular than menstrual cups!” [Laughs] But I couldn’t stop obsessively thinking about it and talking about it. And I had to make it a well-known thing. It solves so many of my problems! I was like, “It’s gonna be like a toothbrush, ubiquitous.”

It struck a feminist nerve for me, like with the menstrual cups. People were afraid to talk about [periods], and women had so much shame! I feel it’s the same for peeing. Women especially have so much stress around peeing. There’s like the urinary leash and all these ways women restrict what they’re doing because “how am I going to pee?” and no one really talks about that. But if we talk about it, then it doesn’t have the same power over us. And that’s why I can still be really passionate about pStyle, twenty years later.

When I went out into the world to try to sell it, especially to men, who were in charge of a lot of the places where you sell things, I realized that wow, it was not going to be easy. It’s largely been women and queer people who are our champions.

What’s next for pStyle? How do you want to expand, whom do you want to reach out to?

What we’re working on now is our packaging, making it easier to be on a shelf in a small store. And we wanna make a glow-in-the-dark pStyle! And we do have a bigger version in the works, which is important to us for inclusiveness. But also, it’s a reusable product, so we do need to keep reaching new people. And there’s so much we want to do, like collaborate with other small brands like Kula Cloth, Gnara, Symbiosis Gear… we’ll just do as many of those cool things as we can!

I asked Krista if she had any concluding thoughts to share about pStyle.

Yes. I just want to emphasize that we believe in toilet dignity and toilet equity. It’s about respect.

You can get a pStyle and learn more on the pStyle website.

Krista states that in addition to the causes mentioned above, pStyle supports the Rich Earth Institute. Rich Earth Institute works toward sustainable farming and clean rivers, specifically through using urine as fertilizer. To learn how to safely use urine as a fertilizer, visit their site and check out this guide.

Notes From a Penis-Haver

Throughout my journey with STP devices, my husband (cis male) has been supportive, if bemused. He also cleared up some questions I had, which, in retrospect, must have seemed obvious. Here are some of our conversations; I’m in bold:

Peeing in a toilet seems really splashy, loud and annoying.

Don’t aim for the water. Aim for the side, and put a little tilt on it.

Ugh, I have an STP that works but it’s not pretty. I like things to be pretty!

Save it for when you want to channel raw masculine energy. Go outside, start pissing, and imagine a bald eagle flying overhead.

When, if ever, would you pee sitting down?

When I need to take a [poop]. Or I guess if I’m dying. Like having trouble standing up.

You don’t ever join me in peeing in our yard. What’s up with that?

I like being in comfort?

Do you undo your pants, or just undo the fly?

Personal preference, depends on the guy. I usually undo the button because my pants are tight enough that they won’t fall down, but plenty of guys just unzip the fly.

Realistically, would you notice if a trans guy used a urinal next to you in a bathroom?

How would I know? There’s a whole lot of dude etiquette here. You don’t look over at another man’s junk. So how would I know?

But if you did notice, would it bother you that a trans guy was in there?

No. But admitting that I noticed would be admitting that I looked, so again, how do I know?

Would it be weird if you went on a hike or road trip with a girl and she peed standing up?

If she gave me a heads up that she was using a device, I’d certainly have no problem with it. I could see a lot of guys being freaked out if they saw her pee standing up and didn’t mention the device.

What would you say to a guy who felt bad that his girlfriend was using an STP?

Why the f--- do you care bro? It’s kind of like guys who don’t like tampons. You don’t have to take a huge interest in it, but why do you care?

Am I still cute even if I pee standing up?

No, I’m sorry, it was over the moment you did it once. [Laughs] Of course!

STP Playlist

 Want to get in the pee-standing-up ZONE? Here’s a playlist to get started.

Man! I Feel Like a Woman, by Shania Twain

—For all of you who feel womanly and playful using an STP

I sure do. My favorite way to pee standing up is in lipstick and heels. It feels so cheeky!

Macho Man, by the Village People

—And this is for all you who feel manly (and have some self-irony)

Such a macho way to pee. Like peeing with a handlebar mustache. This is a great song because it’s about the aesthetics of masculinity, and how you pee is definitely an aesthetic choice.

Tubthumping, by Chumbawumba

—For those of you taking your STP out for a night of debauchery

Enjoy skipping that loooooooong bathroom line. Wave at it as you go by.

Road Trippin’, by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

—For those ditching nasty gas station bathrooms

Road tripping when you’re tied to bathrooms is a drag. When is the next one? Is it clean? Will there be a line? Will it be closed for cleaning? Ugh. Here’s to liberty!

Try Again, by Aliyah

—For those who had a little trouble learning. You did it!

Hey it isn’t easy for everyone, especially if you had to test multiple models. Congratulations on your perseverance! (If you’re still having trouble, see the Troubleshooting section of the site.)

Detachable Penis, by King Missile

—For those of you who view your STP as a detachable penis of course

If I lost my STP I would also be pretty bummed out, even if it doesn’t feel like a penis. For those of you who DO view your STP as a detachable penis, take better care of it than King Missile!

Funnel of Love, by Wanda Jackson

—For the funnel users!

I hope you all love your device. It’s an intimate relationship to have with an object—I admit I got a little attached to mine.

Go Your Own Way, by Fleetwood Mac

—For those who just want to do their own thing

Have you encountered haters or naysayers? Just go off and do you.

I’m Only Happy When it Rains, by Garbage

—For those who need to think of water to get going

I do love rain. If you’re still thinking of water to relax and let go, keep at it—it does get easier!

Take Me Home, Country Roads, by John Denver

—For those of you on a journey, and the hikers of course

If you need to pee or you’re dehydrated or you’re just worried about peeing, you’re not enjoying the experience. Now you can focus on the beauty, the tranquility, the adventures, or whatever your reason for hiking.

Cherry Cola, by Eagles of Death Metal

—For those of you who loaded up on a favorite beverage to practice

Shout out to everyone who stayed home for a day with Diet Coke, lemonade, sparkling water, beer, tea, Gatorade, or whatever you drank. That beverage was in the trenches with you!

Sisters are Doing it for Themselves, by Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox

—For the sisters who are feeling EMPOWERED

YES. It’s a great feeling! It’s not just about knowing you can pee anywhere; it’s about subverting expectations and keeping life surprising. Once you break that leash to the bathroom, it’s a whole new world.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends, by The Beatles

—For those who appreciate the help

Hopefully your friends were supportive to you on your journey—maybe they were on it with you! I also think about my STP as a little friend. I get by with a little help from everyone.

Get Up, Stand Up, by Bob Marley

—STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS

Don’t let anyone tell you how to pee.