Okay, I have to come clean! I used to think this way. I never articulated it to myself, but I’ve seen this implied so many times: peeing standing up is FOR MEN and peeing sitting down/squatting is FOR WOMEN, and as a woman I would somehow be “letting the side down” by peeing upright. I’d be saying that being a man is better (in this particular way) than being a woman, and that would be offensive, because it would be saying that being a woman is bad.

Some thoughts on this:

• Peeing standing up is for anyone who wants to, not just cisgender men. If you like to think of it as masculine, that’s awesome! But you don’t have to.

• I think at this point in history we can agree that “men do it, so women shouldn’t” is less than ideal as an argument. Voting and going to school and driving and wearing pants and holding public office were once only for men too… and there were biological arguments why women couldn’t do such things.

• I think being a woman is very cool; I enjoy being a woman. I know others view it as a neutral state, something one doesn’t think about too much; I know others struggle with it. I honestly don’t think pee has to enter into it.

• Using tools to make life easier is part of being human! I use a menstrual disc so I don’t have to waste money on tampons or bleed all over myself. It makes my period easier. Doesn’t mean I hate being a woman. (For more on my story, see About.)

Nothing is wrong with squatting. I have no hate in my heart for squatting. I’ve done it many times and I was pretty good at it before my knees got weird. If you prefer to squat, rock on! I’d say it’s a useful skill to have, if you can do it and want to do it. Seriously, go for it.

But it really bothers me when people act like squatting is a viable option for everyone. If it needs saying, here’s a breakdown:

• Some people are disabled and cannot squat

• Some people prefer to stand for reasons of gender affirmation

• Some people are uncomfortable exposing their body while squatting

• Some people just find it more convenient to stand. I have done it both ways and I find it easier to stand. I notice no one tells cisgender men to squat when they pee outside.

One thing that doesn’t get talked about a lot is that squatting/sitting is very gender affirming to many women, cis and trans! It might feel good or right. That’s awesome. I respect that. I just don’t think it’s the only way women can pee, and women who want to pee differently shouldn’t be made to feel bad.

There certainly SHOULD be more facilities and better infrastructure, especially in terms of gender-neutral bathrooms. This is a feminist issue, an issue of disabilities rights, and a queer issue. It’s important to advocate for these changes, and, in my opinion, it is also ok to use a pee funnel and promote pee funnel awareness. This is a “both/and” situation. One does not preclude the other. 

I firmly believe in bathroom parity and equity. STPs are not a solution to this kind of inequality.

But let’s be realistic: are there are going to be public bathrooms in every remote corner of nature? Every fifteen miles down the highway? On every small fishing boat? On deployment? Advocating for better facilities is essential, but when used as an argument against use of STPs, it boils down to “women and disabled people should stick to where the indoor plumbing is.” Not all of us want that leash.

And as with other arguments, this fails to consider both the question of gender affirmation and the question of preference. Does it hurt anybody if it feels right to pee a certain way?

One thing is true: if you can’t make an STP work reliably, it isn’t much good. I don’t want a pee funnel that might fail at an important time. But they work for many people, so to say they “just don’t work” isn’t true.

For most people, honestly, it doesn’t INSTANTLY work. For an STP to “work reliably,” two things have to happen: you have to get the one that fits your body, circumstances, and clothing, and you have to practice. So like any skill, it takes research, time and effort.

But that’s all it is: a skill. If you want to learn, you can. If you don’t, don’t.

One last thing on this subject. The two most famous stand-to-pee devices, SheWee and GoGirl, are also the most difficult to use and least reliable. If you grabbed one of these and it didn’t work out for you, you are not alone! Look for a different one here: What’s the Best Pee Funnel?

I’m not a doctor. Please talk to your doctor if you have concerns about using a pee funnel. Talk to your doctor about how you specifically use a stand-to-pee device (occasionally? every day?) and about your personal health concerns. The examples here are my personal experience and findings and are NOT a substitute for medical advice from a healthcare professional.

One thing that I believe is commonly accepted is that if you don’t empty your bladder completely you are at greater risk for an infection. (The Cleveland Clinic lists it as a cause of recurrent UTIs here: Cleveland Clinic.) I am always careful to COMPLETELY empty my bladder when using a pee funnel. As addressed in the How to Pee Standing Up‍ ‍section, when you first practice using these devices, full emptying may be hard, so if you still need to go, you might want to pee in your usual way after practicing. Just be certain you’re empty!

I want to emphasize talking to a medical professional about concerns, but for those interested, here’s a urology nurse on the subject of bladder infections and stand-to-pee devices. To summarize briefly, she observes that holding your pee for a long time actually increases your risk of infection, so peeing more frequently is your friend!

I will say that a nurse (who uses a pee funnel) has told me that if you use a pee funnel EVERY time you pee, it can cause a feeling of urgency due to weakening pelvic muscles. I’ve also heard from people who use these all the time and have suffered no such problem. If you need to use one every time you pee and you run into this problem, talk to a doctor (and maybe do some Kegels).

Think this is exclusively a women’s health issue? A medical doctor told me it was healthier for men to sit to pee. I looked it up. Here’s an article from Modern Urology Colorado on the subject. The study finds that when men sit to pee it reduces risk of urinary tract and prostate issues. I bring this up because there seems to be a lot of “concern” for women’s health that conveniently ignores the fact that it’s culturally fine for men to pee in a less-than-healthy way. Food for thought.

I’ll conclude by saying that I have not suffered any dire medical consequences from STP use. I also know a great many people who use these devices and I have NEVER heard of anyone getting an infection. But that’s anecdotal. Talk to a doc.

I address how to clean a pee funnel here. I address the “it’s so gross and messy” thing in my FAQ. As for “not worth the trouble,” that’s entirely up to you! If it helps you, awesome! If you don’t want one, also cool.

Yes, some women can! But not all of us. So I’d still say there’s a place for the humble-stand-to-pee device.

This one makes me smile when it’s used as an insult. I think it’s fair to say that before I discovered stand-to-pee devices, I did envy this particular feature of penises! It seemed so easy and convenient. But now that I have a device, what is there to envy?

In my experience, when people casually say “penis envy,” they are not talking about Freud’s theory. Usually people are referring to feelings of jealousy inspired by the physical properties of penises, in this case, the ability to pee standing up. As I say in my About section, I got tired of cis women talking about how wonderful penises were in this capacity. Penises are wonderful! But you don’t need one to pee standing up.

For those interested: “penis envy” is a term coined by Sigmund Freud, whose other hits included the Oedipus complex and castration anxiety. It’s worth remembering that all of these theories are part of a larger psychoanalytic theory of psychosexual development. The concept of penis envy has been challenged by many other psychoanalysts, including Karen Horney, who coined the term “womb envy,” which is also controversial. If this is up your alley, check out the International Psychoanalytic Association.

I want to represent these criticisms fairly, but anything to do with “gender means you can’t do things” is dumb. Here’s a rapid fire set of responses to these types of statements:

• You just want to be a man. Is peeing truly at the core of manhood? Is that the beating heart of masculinity: urination? I don’t find peeing impacts my gender. Does my peeing impact your gender?

• Are you trans? Nah. Nothing wrong with that though. Also, are trans people the only people allowed to play with gender? I think we should all play a little.

• It’s unnatural/weird: No, because I am a mammal and I do it. Very natural.

• Is this a pee kink? I don’t shame kinks. But if anything, this is a convenience kink.

• Use a toilet you filthy b--- Thanks, random internet man! I will think of you fondly as I pee wherever the heck I want.

• You’re going to get a disgusting [negative word] infection. You’re going to get arrested for public urination and become a sex offender. You’re disgusting. And yet here I am, uninfected, a free woman. I might be disgusting, but not for urological reasons.