Peeing on thick grass, into leaves, or into undergrowth is the easiest. If you pee on grassless, flat ground, it will splatter onto your legs, as well as being quite loud. Obviously this is also true for concrete.

If you pee against something, like a tree or a wall, it will splatter less and also be more quiet.

It’s proverbial: don’t pee into the wind! You want the wind at your back.

If you’re on a slope, pee downhill, or else it will run back and pool around your feet.

It is a good idea to practice using a pee funnel at night or with your eyes closed if darkness is something you might encounter! Also check out Tinkle Belle’s glow-in-the-dark pee funnel.

Plan how to carry your stand-to-pee device! If you’re carrying a backpack, put it somewhere you can grab without taking your pack off. Consider attaching a carabiner to your case.

If you’re by your car, you can open the the two doors facing away from the road and stand in between them.

Want to write your name in the snow? Cis guys suggest this to me all the time. Here’s the thing: that pee funnel is not attached to your body. It will spill if you move it. If you want to move it while peeing, move your hips while holding the funnel steady. Good luck!

You’re likely going to be wearing pants. A stand-to-pee device that slides into pants easily is probably better than a squishy funnel. Check out pStyle, Freshette, GoPee, or Tinkle Belle.

GoPee is collapsible! It folds into a sheet and is easily refolded into a device. Great for biking.

Doing cold weather stuff? A Freshette is designed to withstand very low temperatures and has a 7-inch tube to go through layers of clothing.

Don’t want to advertise that you’re using a stand-to-pee device? No bright pink pee funnels for you? The pStyle comes in five skin tones.

When I hear pee funnel “horror stories,” I usually hear about cis women who took a pee funnel camping and didn’t practice first. Try it at home first! Practice in the clothing you will wear in nature. Be aware that SheWee and Pibella especially have a learning curve.

Pants/leggings/shorts with front-to-back zippers are amazing for using a pee funnel OR squatting. Try Ziphers or Gnara.

Obviously, don’t pee where people walk. Step away from the trail.

If you want to pee in a bottle in a tent, practice doing it kneeling as well as standing. Gatorade bottles are good because they have wide mouths. Don’t do it directly over your sleeping bag either, in case there is an accident! And mark the bottle so you don’t accidentally drink out of it. Also check out Bottles and Sitting.

If you’re camping and leave the tent to pee in the dark, don’t pee too close to the tent. There will be odor and it can attract curious animals. Use a headlamp with a red light mode (to avoid attracting bugs) to find an appropriate place.

Don’t pee too close to any water source an animal or human might drink out of. Try to stay 200 feet away from water, including puddles and trickles.

If you use toilet paper, don’t leave it on the trail! Pack it out. Get a Kula Cloth for pee. Antimicrobial and clean!